Sarcasm. Its the most "comfortable" way for people in general to communicate. It seems on the outside like there is no actual danger in being candid and evasive. I mean, its all in Jest, right? Wrong. Allow me to give you a little narrative to explain what I think about sarcasm.
Once upon a time, two friends met for dinner as they had grown accustomed to doing each Friday afternoon. Mr. Leery Betrayed and Mr.Offensive Pride were their names. Though sometimes they had other friends join, such as Mrs. Alone Victim and Mrs. Constantly Cornered . Usually Mr. Leery, or Lee for short and Mr. Offensive or Offe for short, always met. The dinner would begin with a cautious hand shake, a tentative smile and a motioning to sit at the table for tea. A napkin sat near each one of the friends on their laps. Each man would make small remarks, kind for the most part, until one would gather his napkin up and lunge across the table with a knife protruding from its innocent white folds! "BAH! I HAVE YOU NOW!" He would scream, in a mincing and terrifying way. Then with laughter, the attacker would return to his seat and proclaim the action innocent and make light of the situation. While the victim would clasp his not so empty napkin and smile nervously. wondering when he should attach back, and prove he was not so much the victim. The near attacks where regular for such dinners. And though no visual blood was drawn. Not a moment of peace settled on either of the mens minds while in eachothers company. In their minds they would think things like, "is he about to attack right now? Should i prepare myself? will he actually stop or will he really slice me...will i die?" Now you can imagine that such thoughts would cause a major amount of riff between friends. So it continued until one day, Lee attacked Offe with such vigor that he sliced Offe on the cheek. Wide eyed and shocked, the two of them ended the dinner promptly and decided that it was all completely fine and jest, of course. However the next week, when Offe attacked Lee, he was shocked to find that Lee didn't venture to attack him back. A bit confused he asked, "Lee, why are you so solemn today? No fun left in your bones I see?" Lee looked down at his napkin and picked it up, against his better judgment, Offe flinched a bit. But was shocked to see that napkin unfold, with nothing inside. "Why Lee!" Offe exclaimed. "Where is your weapon? Why are you unarmed?" Lee set the napkin down and looked up with a tears brimming in his eyes. "I realize now" said Lee quietly, "That there is no joy in jesting this way, I dont want to continue threatening you, i dont want to hurt you." Offe laughed awkwardly, "H..hu..hurt me? Dont be crazy! This has always been pure fun, when has it ever hurt anyone?!" And that ended the conversation. However they both knew the truth. They had been hurting each other. They never had dinner together like this again. However they did have entirely different dinners, because neither brought weapons anymore, and their friendship, i am thrilled to report, became something of a strong friendship, rather than one full of defensiveness and uncertainty. One of trust and faithfulness, all because they put away the knives in their napkins.
Sarcasm causes you to be afraid of being hurt. And intern, you hurt others with your supposedly nonchalant words. Lets not be so afraid to come to dinner without knives. Lets drop the fake persona, and take a stand for a deeper way of speaking to one another. In a way that can be trusted.
I actually have a few friends who i never assumed i would be close to, because all we did was joke around sarcastically. But when i put my knife down, so did they. And our friendships grew so much stronger and real. I know it works, and i encourage you all to try it out! Its hard to be vulnerable. And say things with pure intent, because you will get scratched. But lets not be afraid of that, its better than a fake friendship, full of pride and insecurity! TRUE FRIENDS ARE WORTH EMPTY NAPKINS.
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