Leah and Fernanda-Killing the Flesh

Killing the Flesh, phew shoo huh.

Leah and Fernanda- Having Grace not SELF HATE

having grace on yourself :)

Wash Me

This is a song I just wrote about being washed with Gods truth, even when we dont feel like allowing him to come in and speak truth to us. We really have to be willing to give up our nasty thoughts and ideals in order to feel the refreshing rain God has to give!

SURETY

Surety is...a real word.


Its also a real and tangible thing. Its something I am beginning to notice is becoming part of who i am. Last night I was talking to Fernanda, (an amazing friend and intern at provision international where i live) And i laughed saying, "I think my face is different!" She looked at me with a smile, knowing that I had some reason for saying that. And of course I did! Its because I am more sure than ever of where my hope rests. Where my courage and clearity comes from. God has begun gripping my heart stronger than ever before in my life. Thats why my face feels different, when one is unsure, they show it clearly on their face. Its obvious, insecurity and desperation, poor spirit and downcast demener arent things that you can hide. But last night I noticed my face felt as if it was on a mission, that it walked in grace. Of course i mean my countinence basically. But because our faces display so much of whats happening inside us, Its where i noticed the change. As i have questioned as to how I got here, I realized these things took place:

1. I´ve been repenting. Big time.

Its walking into your room of weakness and really looking at what you´ve stored up in there, then ASKING God to clean you out. All the filthy things, Judgements, unforgiveness, bitterness, fear, anger, pride. I have walked through bits a pieces of healing from each of these things, and daily, even hourly, I am humbled with more. It is not overwhelming, its beautiful. Every time I see the problem and hand it to God, I feel SUCH release!

What keeps us from being freed from our issues?
Fear of the unknown is one. We are sheltered inside our issues, we get comfortable, they are awful yes, but somewhat predictable. You will be tempted. you will give in. thats the cycle. But many fear, as I have and continually choose to overcome, that if they really DEAL with something, they will have to be open for surprises. They will have to walk through the valleys they have run from their whole lives. They will have to have some people reject them, some people hurt them, some people become friends that they may not have wanted to befriend before. Its scary. But its not the bad choice. Just because something is hard, doesnt make it bad. Let me tell you, choosing to walk through the valleys of repenting and getting clean before God, has been the one thing that I have seen the most fruit in. No amount of crying, yelling, writing, reading, memorizing or counciling, can change you like TURNING FROM THE OLD WAYS, And seeking God and LISTENING to Him for the new.

2.I stopped trying to do things alone.

We need wise coucil in our lives, once we see the places we need to change and start taking steps. Its wise to have council from those who God has put in your life to guide you with wisdom and truth. I have finally begun asking leadership around me, the questions i never asked. Asking for prayer, guidence, wisdom. And its saved me SO much time already. We must be teachible, we must ask questions, we must be willing to listen. And I have begun finally getting over my pride and rebellion, by Gods grace alone, and seeking to gleen from the wisdom around me!

3.I took things piece by piece.

I stopped trying to take on the world all at once. I started making small goals for myself, then accomplishing them! How? I asked God what was priority in my life, then i did my best not to add to what he said, but just be faithful. Then I began by making a list (THIS IS AWESOME, IT HELPS SO MUCH, i learned it from a bible study) Make a list of the top five things you need to do in a given day to get to your ultimate goals. Then accomplish all you can STARTING with number 1. Then the next day, whatever you didnt get to, begins the new list. And just WATCH as you accomplish and take ground. Its so satisfying to know that our lives are totally managable, and if they arent, maybe our priorities are mixed up and the Devils trying to distract us from our purpose and destinies!


Those are a few things I have been learning and they have been changing who I am! OH MAN, I NEED GOD! I am seriously a mess without Him. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW! But just know, that God is not too big or damanding to give your whole life to. He is not asking you to be perfect in your own strength, he is not asking you to stand strong with all your power. He is your father, friend and love. He is the strong tree you lean against, he is all you need to stand steadfast, in His will.

You face changes when you seek to see Gods face.

THANK YOU GOD!

I TRUST IN HIM, He is my surety

Leah...haha shes still alive

The season of wild growth...has begun...




I got my ears pierced for the first time, I thought it would be fun, and it is!




These are my apartment mates. they are WONDERFUL woman of God, and i LOVVVVEE THEM





Hello all my Friends and Family!! I have been lagging behind in blogging for sure! But I will do my best to get you up to speed. I am currently in my second year interning at provision international! Its a beautiful ministry, multifaceted in many ways, I am part of prision ministrys, weekly worship, children ministries, public relations, yearly mission trips and out reaches, not to mention meals for the homeless every week. Its a busy and rewarding life to be sure. I am so thankful for every bit of what God is doing here. I am learning SO much and look forward to sharing my songs, revelations, ideas, and adventures on this blog! so keep your eyes out! I am determined to keep everyone in the know, as God is truly up to big things in my life. But more importantly, God is up to BIG things all over this world! And I know its not about me, its so big, so big, we are all going to see victories this year, i am sure, as long as we trust in God, ask him about every choice and choose the hard but good things over the things we necessarily want to choose. There is ground to be taken, without appologies this year. Oh its good. WHEW! SO GOOD! THANK YOU JESUS! WOOOO!!!

Home on the Range!

I went home to VIRGINIA! For a week or so (IN JUNE, i have a lot to catch up on, i know!), and I did the following, and some:

I got to see some incredible people, including my OSS (operation shore storm) people (a youth rally i was part of in 2009, it changed OUR lives :D )
We got together and worshiped and prayed, and it was STINKING BEAUTIFUL! I am so thankful i got to see them all!



I went to the beach and enjoyed its beauty, more than i ever did while i was living there. We need to take all the joys of every place we are, or we will look back and regret not living it up more! I learned this too late, look at this beauty!? ahh!!!

Kari Jardine ( a friend i stinking adore!) and I went on a little walk down a driveway (yes, this is a driveway! haha) And got completely soaked. Good times. I love it. simply love it.

How many times do you see a frog like this? He is calm, even though a bug is like "let me eat your eye!" It taught me something. Not to sweat the small annoyances. Just close your eye lid and let the bug crawl over. :D haha


Us Girls got all Maskara face drawn up and scared my brother and cousin. It was beautiful bonding time really...



This horsefly is beautiful, it just sat there and let me snap a billion pictures, then it grew tired and decided to go home. hahaha

FAMILY--is beautiful. This is my Mom, Dad, Grandma, Sister and I :D

Pizza-was thicker than normal but perfectly memorible. It was my first time tossing pizza too :D my cousin knows how its done. haha

JELLY FISH--first time i ever picked one up. After the seven degree burns I recieved, i hobbled to the hospital and they replaced my hands with fake ones. ( Well that didnt exactly happen)


BEACH MUSIC in the morning. Brianna my cousin, and Linda my sister and I all went to the beach in the morning to praise God~! We sang, we danced, we fell to the ground and laughed. It was lovely. One morning we sang to some construction workers on our way home too. Ahhh good times.

So I took a trip home to Virginia! It was incredible. God is good.
I was blessed to see those I love so deeply, and see the hand of God in their lives. He is moving, though its hard times, he IS GOOD, FOREVER AND EVER! This folks is a brief update, I have more to come, of course! :D